


The Comfort of Touch

by trancer



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Femslash, First Time, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, I'll go ahead and spoil.. it's Max Lord who dies, it's not incest if one's an alien.. right?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-24
Updated: 2016-01-24
Packaged: 2018-05-16 00:10:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,492
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5805670
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/trancer/pseuds/trancer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Five times Alex touches Kara, and one time she doesn't.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Comfort of Touch

**

There were thunderstorms on Krypton, Alex knows this because Kara told her. Still, it's not the distant boom that stirs her awake, the barely audible squeak in the floorboard. Not even the slight dip to the mattress that just barely shakes the bed. No..

It's Kara's whimper.

A sound that sends an icy shiver down Alex's spine, causes her eyes to snap open. A sound she's heard before, too, too many times. Because Kara always slips into Alex's room when the thunder rolls. And if Alex is asleep, Kara finds a corner to curl herself into. Like Alex's presence enough to comfort her.

Alex doesn't understand. Doesn't understand why Kara doesn't go to Mom or Dad instead. They always know what to do, know what to say. Alex just shrugs or mumbles, offers a hand to hold or an arm to seek shelter under. Alex isn't very good at offering consolation. Yet, Kara continues to follow Alex like a puppy, continues to come to Alex when she's scared.

Which is why Kara's whimper scares Alex. That sound - haunted, mournful, empty. Like something irreplaceable has been scooped out and can't be put back in.

Alex remembers when Danny Brookman's father died in the cement factory fire. She'd never been to a funeral before, or a wake. Danny looked like Kara does sometimes, empty and haunted. A ghost that's still alive. Alex didn't know what to do, so she hugged him. That's when Danny made that sound, he whimpered. Body trembling in Alex's arms like he was trying to keep himself from shattering into a million pieces. Alex never thought she'd hear that sound again.

Until the day Superman dropped his cousin off on her family's front yard.

Another boom of thunder. This time, Alex feels Kara's shiver as the entire bed shakes. Alex doesn't know what to say. She never knows what to say. "Kara," she mumbles, pulling back the covers, "come here."

Alex might not know what to say but they're the words Kara needs to hear. Because she's clambering across the mattress, rolling onto her side and curling into a ball.

"It's okay, Kara," Alex whispers, molding her body to Kara's as she pulls the covers over both of them. "It's okay."

**

_Don't push._

Alex has been standing in the doorway to Kara's bedroom for the past five minutes.

Kara doesn't know how or even when it happened, but she always knows where Alex is. Even when they're at school, or Alex is at school and Kara's at home, Kara can tell where Alex is. If she needs Kara. Alex went to bed the same time they all did. Then, Kara heard it - the thundering pulse of Alex's heart, the rustling of sheets as she thrashed back and forth, the mumbles and mewls until Alex finally snapped awake, scream caught in the back of her throat.

_Don't push._

Eliza's words echo in Kara's head. As her hands curl into fists, nails digging into her palms, all to keep herself from rushing to Alex's side.

It's been six months since Jeremiah died. A strange thought, and Kara feels horrible for even thinking it, but she feels less like an alien, less alone. She thought adjusting to earth was hard, mourning her home. As hard as those first few months after Jeremiah's death might have been, at least Kara had an idea of what to do..

Be strong.

Be strong like Eliza and Alex have been for Kara. Eliza tried. Tried to lift her shoulders and carry forward for her girls. But, Kara heard the nights when Eliza cried herself to sleep, the days when breathing was a labor. So Kara cooked, she cleaned, sorted the bills from the junk, got all A's in school. Anything to make it a little bit easier for Eliza. Who saw, smiled with watery eyes, draped an arm over Kara's shoulders as she kissed Kara's head and whispered 'I love you, my sweet, beautiful little girl'.

Alex..

Alex withdrew. If Eliza was a ghost, Alex was a zombie. Who stopped talking, barely reacting, listlessly shuffling through the day. Hard as Eliza tried, it was Kara who slowly got through to Alex. Coaxed her to eat, to bathe, to join Eliza and Kara as they watched tv. Alex slowly climbing into that shell of the person she used to be.

Then, there was the night when the thunder rolled, Kara curled into a ball on her bed counting the seconds between the thunder and the lightning. A harsh bright flash, and there was Alex, sitting on the edge of Kara's bed. Eyes wide and blank, entire body numb. Kara sat up, dared to slide her hand across the mattress, fingertips inches from Alex's. Alex, without looking, just reached, fingers curling around Kara's.

"Dad's dead," she finally mumbled.

"I know," Kara offered back. "I'm sorry."

Alex turned her head, gazed with those vacant eyes. "Why?"

"Because you're my sister." Eliza told Kara not to push, to let Alex mourn in her own way. Kara didn't know what to say but the truth. "And I hate seeing you hurt."

Alex asks the same thing she did months ago. "Can I stay in here tonight?"

Kara does the same thing she did then, peels back the covers. Watches as Alex shuffles across the floor, clambers onto the mattress, molds her body to Kara's, head to Kara's shoulder, arm draping over her stomach. Wherever Alex is, Kara knows. Yet, Kara is never more content, never more comfortable than when Alex is in her arms, heartbeat easing, breathing relaxing. As Kara's fingers gently thread through her hair, just like Alex always does when she comforts Kara.

"Does it ever stop hurting?" Alex quietly asks.

Kara just shakes her head. "I don't know."

**

"You're an asshole," Alex pants.

"Why am I the asshole? _You_ brought us here!"

Mom would kill Alex if she knew. Hell, she'd probably kill Alex _and_ Kara if she knew..

Sometimes, Kara still flies.

Alex on her mountain bike, pedaling over trails she's been riding since she was a kid. Not exactly a competition, Alex on her bike while Kara darts along the treetops. It's Alex's second trip home since starting college. She'd be lying if she said she didn't return home for no other reason than to see her sister.

Who's already waiting for her at the top of the hill. Thankfully, Kara was carrying the basket, so the blanket is already spread out. The powers of an indestructible alien, Kara pops the top off the beer with the flick of her thumb, handing the bottle to Alex. That _other_ thing Eliza would kill them both over if she knew.

They plop down on the blanket, descending into silence. Alex hiding the smile on her face as she gazes at Kara. Kara always gets so excited when she flies, wild-eyed and free. She'd promised to stop using her powers. All Alex has to do is ask..

"So.." Alex leans, nudging Kara with her knee, "what's this I hear about you and Stephen Ryu?"

"I don't know," Kara shrugs, tips of her ears already burning red. "He's smart, funny, kinda cute.."

"Kara Danvers," Alex fake gasps. "Do you have a boyfriend?"

"I don't know.." Kara narrows her eyes. "What's this I hear about you and a certain soccer player."

"Oh." It's Alex's turn for her ears to go a dark shade of red, cheeks running a competition to match the deepening color. "How'd you.."

"I heard your Mom talking, something about creating a P-Flag group for the town."

Alex groans, "Oh God."

Kara's turn to lean, nudging Alex with her shoulder. "She knows, Alex. She's always known." This time it's 'Alex's smile', the one Kara wears that's meant only for Alex. Who leans, nudging her again. "Tell her. She's not going to love you any less. And she's _not_ going to be disappointed in you."

"I know." Alex sets her bottle down between her legs, leans back on her palms. "It's just Dad.."

"He wouldn't love you any less, either," Kara cuts her off, voice a little stern. "You're their daughter. They love you. They've always loved you. Hell, who _wouldn't_ love you?"

"You'd be surprised.."

"Alex.." Kara scoffs. "You're incredibly smart. Kind, loyal as heck. Absolutely gorgeous. Hell, I would.." eyes going wide, Kara stops, head snapping upwards towards the sky. "Look! It's starting."

"Kara.." Alex ignores that tiny tremor in her heart, the nervous swallow cutting off what ever words were supposed to come up her throat. Instead, she takes another sip of her beer, inhaling deeply before turning her gaze to the stars. "You know I can't see what you do."

"That's okay." Kara sets down her beer, tucks her hands behind her head as she lies down on the blanket. "I'll tell you what's happening."

Alex understands this, veering back into the familiar, the comfortable, the routine. Besides, they're outside so there's no elephant in the room. Instead, it can absolutely roam free. Setting down her beer, Alex leans back until her head is resting against Kara's stomach. She lifts her forearm, fingers lazily dangling in the air, smiling as she feels Kara reaching for her hand, threading their fingers together.

Familiar, comfortable, routine.

"There!" Kara points with her other hand. "There's the Space Station!"

Even in the waning sunlight, amongst the stars beginning to twinkle, Alex can see the tiny spark against a blanket of black known as the ISS Space Station crossing the sky.

Smile widening, Alex teases, "Do you really think I'm gorgeous?"

"Shut up, Danvers!"

**

Kara Danvers is a second skin now; a little nerdy, a little clumsy, a little awkward. A package that's easy to sell since so many of the parts are genuine. But, then there are the days when Kara wishes she could just be herself - the indestructible alien with super powers. Like today, when someone who can run faster than a speeding bullet is forcibly yet clumsily shuffling across campus, hurrying to her next class. Wishing for all the world that she really could shed her second skin.. just for the convenience of getting there on time.

The last thing Kara wants to hear is the ringing of her cell. Her second skin has instincts now. Books and folders falling to the ground as she reaches into her purse. Brows knitting together as she sees the name on the Caller ID.

"Mom?"

"Kara! Get to National Grace.." Eliza pauses, and Kara can hear the panic in her voice. "It's Alex. There's been an accident.."

It's been three years since Kara has flown, not since high school. For the first time ever..

Kara breaks the sound barrier.

~~

_"..BP one-ten over sixty.."_

Even in a city of ten million, Kara can pinpoint exactly where Alex is. Except, because Kara was in her second skin, she wasn't paying attention. Wasn't paying attention when the car lost control, veered wilding onto the sidewalk. Now, Alex is two floors up, three rooms away. She's beeping machines and instruments clacking, doctors and nurses talking in terms Kara can barely understand.

"What are they saying?" Eliza asks, hand wrapped around Kara's and gripping tightly.

Kara tells Eliza how three people are alive because Alex pushed them out of the way. She doesn't mention how many units of blood they've gone through. Or the extra CC's of adrenline she's been given to keep her heart going. Or how another half inch to the left and Alex wouldn't be here at all.

_"..if she makes it through the next 24 hours it'll be a miracle.."_

The chill that runs down Kara's spine feels like it shakes the entire building. She turns to Eliza, knowing the blood has probably drained from her face. Still, she pulls her lips into a smile, forces the words through her lips, "The doctor says she's strong. She's gonna be fine."

Because, Kara can only think that maybe if she says it, it'll actually come true.

~~

They've been in the ICU for twelve hours now, doing nothing more than sitting at Alex's side. Alex, who's unconscious; pale, bruised, cast on her left forearm, another on her left calf and foot. Alex and the machines, the machines keeping Alex breathing, feeding her fluids and medications.

But they can't hear, not like Kara does. the raspiness in her chest, how each inhale, each exhale is so labored. They can't hear how thready Alex's heartbeat is. The way time seems to stretch between each beat of Alex's heart and Kara just hangs in the air, literally breathing a sigh of relief each time that muscle remembers to squeeze another rush of blood through Alex's body.

Eliza knows now, knows that Kara lied about Alex's condition. But, she doesn't hold it against Kara. That's not who Eliza Danvers is. Instead, she uses one hand to hold Kara's while the other is wrapped around Alex's. Her girl's are together, even if one won't survive the night.

"Mrs. Danvers?" a nurse stands at the edge of the room, clipboard held to his chest by his folded arms. They've been courteous, professional, but they've all had that _look_. A look that says they've seen this before, that Alex isn't going to make it through the night.

Eliza rises from her chair like Sysiphus moving a mountain, trudging across the floor. The moment Eliza and the nurse leave the room, door quietly closing behind them, Kara is at Alex's side. Hand still gently clasped around Alex's, like she's daring herself to touch her. With the other, she brings it to the crown of Alex's head. Watching her thumb as it gently grazes over her forehead. Because Alex's skin is so pale, so cold. And, for once, Kara doesn't know what to do to make it better.

She leans, lips ghosting over Alex's temple, face twitching, lower lip trembling, fighting an aching rawness Kara hasn't felt in almost a decade. "Please don't leave me. You're all I have," she whispers, a disbelief in her eyes, like she can't quite believe she said the words. How she's already lost everything once and.. "I can't do this on my own."

The door opens, Eliza haloed by the hallways lights. "Kara.."

She sniffles, dares to turn.

"Could you.."

_Thump._

Which is when Kara feels it, a twitching around her fingers.

_Thump._

She hears it. Alex's heart. A little faster, a little stronger. Kara whips her head back around. Finds herself staring into brown eyes gazing at her, trying desperately to focus.

"Alex?"

**

Work.

When in doubt, there's always work.

Her shift ended at six. Alex actually went home, then eventually came back. Because it's easier to clear her mind when she's focused on a task. At the DEO, there are always tests needing to be completed; chemical analyses, data projections, the drudgery of paperwork. Work. Until Alex is completely focused, forgetting how many hours she's been at the DEO, or how tired she's starting to get.

Or the fact that there's a woman dressed in blue and red with a cape standing at the edge of Alex's lab, arms crossed over her chest.

"Kara?"

Who smiles, head bowing slightly as she tucks a lock of hair behind an ear, gently easing herself into the lab. "Missed you at Game Night."

"Oh," Alex swallows. Her time to dart her eyes away, find something of interest on a counter. She'd been there, standing outside Kara's door, listening to Kara laugh. To James making Kara laugh. They've been together for almost six months now. James makes Kara happy. Happy in ways Alex can't ever remember seeing. Alex on the outside, knot twisting in her stomach. All she's ever wanted is for Kara to be happy. What purpose does she serve if Kara's found it?

With a mirthless chuckle, Alex lifts her head. Tries to meet Kara's eyes. "Something came up."

A chuckle. "And you say _I'm_ a horrible liar."

"Don't know if you noticed but.." she lifts her shoulders, wiggling her head, "kinda at work."

Where Alex would expect a retort, she's met with silence. Kara goes pensive, tightening the arms folded across her chest.

"After my Aunt Astra.." Kara goes quiet again. She always did have trouble turning her feelings into words, like language suddenly becomes as alien as she is. Then, Kara inhales, finds her resolve. When she lifts her head, her eyes are focused, completely clear. "I always know where you are. Have for a couple years, now. I guess it started after your accident became stronger after you were taken.. I once asked Clark about it. Even he has no idea," she pauses, half-smile on her lips. "I heard you parking your car, Alex. Listened as you rode the elevator. I saw you outside my door. Why were you so sad?"

"Kara.." an instinct, crossing the distance between them so she can throw her arms around Kara's shoulders. "You big, dumb puppy. It's not about you, okay? I was just.. having a crappy day. I heard how much fun you guys were having and I didn't wanna be a stick in the mud."

Hands sliding up Alex's back, Kara returns Alex's embrace, her hold firm. "You didn't answer my question. Why were you sad?"

How could Alex answer? When she could already feel the clenching in her ribs, the salt threatening to sting the corners of her eyes. When she knew Kara could hear the hitch in her breath, the tremor in her heart. When the emptiness wasn't a hole but a person. How Alex always feels complete when that person is in her arms.

"I'm fine, Kara," Alex manages, already pulling away. "I'm fine."

"No, you're not." Kara fills the distance Alex tries to build, stepping forward and into that space. "Come home with me."

Another mirthless chuckle. "Don't know if you remember but two's company, three's a crowd."

"I told James to stay at his place."

Alex darts her eyes away. She used to be so much better at this, pushing Kara away. "Kara.."

"Fine," Kara huffs right before her lips curl into a smile, a twinkle filling her eyes as she extends her hand. "Then let me take you flying."

"What?"

"C'mon." Kara doesn't wait, slides her hand under Alex's, curling her fingers. This time, she's not taking no for an answer. "There's a meteor shower tonight. You might not be able to touch the stars but I can get you closer."

~~

It's like they're kids all over again. Alex on Kara's back, arms around her shoulders. As Kara takes them above the cloudline.

Kara's never more free than when she's flying.

Alex is never more content than when Kara's in her arms.

By the time they reach Kara's apartment, Kara holding Alex almost like a baby, Alex is dead asleep.

**

'BATTLE AT LORD INDUSTRIES', 'LORD OF PAIN', 'GENIUS, BILLIONAIRE, VILLAIN?'

The headlines continued throughout the week. Worldwide media descending upon National City trying to uncover every secret. With the Feds officially dealing with the fallout, the DEO managed to remain a covert agency. Even Superman had arrived to help deal with the aftermath. Because..

Maxwell Lord was dead. From a plan that not only would have killed every alien in National City, but wiped out a third of the population to accomplish. Which he'd been planning to blame on the aliens.

None of that concerns Alex. All Alex cares about is the latest headlines taking up space in the press.

'WHERE IS SUPERGIRL?'

The last time Alex saw Kara, she was punching her fist through Maxwell Lord's chest. Almost immediately, Kara disappeared. Hank lost track. Not even James or Winn knew where she was. Then, Alex got a text on one of her burner phones..

'Come home - Mom'

And Alex was there before the end of the day.

Instead of her mountain bike, she takes the four-wheeler, getting to the top of the hill before the sun sets. Kara's standing, hands tucked into her jeans, slumped down in one of Alex's MIT sweatshirts. Judging by the gaunt and vacant look in her eyes, she's been here for hours, maybe days.

Approaching from behind, Alex slides her hands around Kara's waist, places the side of her face to Kara's shoulder. As time, the world, bleeds away. Not quite kids but, for a moment, they can forget all the adult responsibilities crushing down on them.

"Wonder Woman's in town," Alex breaks the silence. With the arms wrapped around Kara' stomach, she gives a little shake, "says she can't wait to meet you."

Instead of lifting her spirits, Kara exhales, deflating in Alex's arms until she's sagging.

"Superheroes don't kill," comes out in a quiet mumble, disbelief coloring her voice. " _I_ don't kill."

"Kara.." Over two dozen humans across the city were dead by the time the DEO arrived at Lord Industries. Another half dozen agents by the time Kara arrived, their bodies scattered across the lobby floor like refuse.

"He laughed when he said you were dead," Kara shivers. " Said how astounded he was at how easy it was to kill you. Laughed."

Head lifting, Alex shifts, using her hands to turn Kara in her arms so she can meet her eyes, cup a palm to her cheek. "Don't."

"I knew he was lying.." Kara pauses off Alex's stunned expression, forces a mirthless smile onto her lips. "I told you, Alex, I always know where you are. I knew you weren't dead. But when he laughed.." Eyes darkening, arms still slack at her side, Kara balls her hands into fists. Eyes unfocused as she searches for the right words. "I didn't care if he was lying or even just taunting me, because all I could feel was rage."

Alex feels it, the thundering of Kara's heart, the quick rise and fall of her chest bordering on hyperventilation. The two already touching, Alex doesn't know what to do. Just leans closer until their bodies are pressed together, tip of her nose to Kara's cheek. "You don't have to explain.."

Except, Kara continues, voice dazed and disbelieving, "It all came back to me - the loss of my planet, the death of your Dad, you in a hospital bed fighting for your life. I'd already lost everything, once. I couldn't let him dare to take it away from me again. Even if he was just taunting me, I knew he was still going to try.."

Eyes drifting closed, voice on the verge of begging, "Kara, please.."

"And then, there you were," Kara pauses, head angling back so her eyes can dart all over Kara's face. Like that day in Lord Industries, "You? Breathing, healthy, alive. Me, standing there with Maxwell Lord's heart in my hand. Betraying every single one of my values. The worst part is? I was _relieved_. You were alive, Maxwell Lord could never threaten you again and I was actually happy. That's why I ran, Alex. How could I be a hero when I've broken my family's most sacred commandment?"

Alex doesn't know what to say. She's already killed for Kara. The two have already been through Hell and back, made it out alive, survived. Yes, Maxwell Lord was a human but he'd already murdered dozens, with the intention of killing who knows how many more. He was holding a weapon that could not only kill aliens but kill Kara, with every intention of using it. There wasn't a court in the world that would have found Kara guilty. But, what can Alex say? To lift that weight she can see crushing down on Kara's shoulders. The guilt.

Alex doesn't know what to do? She's never been good at talking, knowing the right thing to say. That was always Eliza. Alex always relied on the comfort of her touch. A smile. A hand to Kara's hand, her forearm, her shoulder. A hug. A warm body to hold, to provide comfort. That's all Alex had to do, that was always enough. But, even now, holding Kara in her arms, a hand to Kara's face, Alex can tell it's not enough. Like holding a broken tea cup threatening to shatter.

Alex does the only thing she can think of. She leans, presses her lips gently to Kara's cheek.

"Shhh," she whispers off Kara's whimper. That whimper. A sound Alex hasn't heard in ages. Kara empty, vacant, haunted. In a panic, one kiss becomes two, three. A touch that turns into a gentle rain of pecks and kisses all over Kara's face. It begins to work. Alex feels it in the way Kara seems to stand taller. The way her hands drift to the swell of Alex's hips. The way she leans closer. Then..

It all changes.

Alex isn't sure how. Whether it was the way she tilted her head, or the way Kara shifts hers. But, suddenly, Alex's lips are pressing against Kara's. And it's not just Kara's heart thundering, or her breath hitching. There's Kara's hand cupping Alex's cheek, gently pulling her closer.

When they break, Alex's eyes are wide with shock. _Her_ chest forcing the air in and out, on the border of hyperventilation. "Oh," she mumbles. Too afraid to move, hand still cupping Kara's face, arm still wrapped around her stomach. All these years, the comfort of Alex's touch has always been enough, been just what Kara needed. Alex always skating towards a line she never dared touch because those little things had always been enough. Enough to contain the yawing, aching need within. Keep that desire hidden, unchecked, unnamed.

Now, everything's been spilled out into the open.

"Oh! I.." Kara swallows, face paling in the dawning moonlight. Chest heaving like she's forgotten to breathe. "Was.." Another pause. Another swallow. This time, Kara finds a little of that resolve. "Can we do that again?"

Sixteen years, Alex has never been able to say no. But this? Alex knows will change everything. As her eyes begin to water and a smile of relief stretches her lips. As the hand on Kara's cheek is a thumb grazing across her lips, and Alex is leaning in.

"Can we do that again?" Alex knows, maybe she's always known. That Kara's greatest fear is losing Alex. So, if the only way for Alex to alleviate that fear is with a kiss? She's more than willing. Quite possibly, for the rest of her life.

"Absolutely."

The kiss is soft, gentle. Like neither can believe this is really happening. But, as the kiss lingers, they both grow bolder in their own way, a little experimental. Discovering the little things that, with just a kiss, makes the other's breath hitch. Makes them twitch, tremble and murmur.

When they part, foreheads pressing together, panting breathlessly out of pure excitement. It's Kara who smiles first. With _that_ smile, the one only meant for Alex.

"What's Wonder Woman like?" Kara pauses to curl her lips into an almost teasingly coy grin. "Is she really pretty?"

"Shut up and kiss me, Zor-El!"

END


End file.
